Liar
by Comatose Overdose
Summary: In his diary, Prussia realizes just how many lies he tells himself. Hungary, as a joke, reads his diary out during a meeting, finding something disturbing. Now she & Germany must get to Prussia before it's too late. Germancest in the second chapter, PruHun Friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Liar

Just how many lies do I tell myself exactly? Just how much have I deluded myself?

I'm just fine by myself.

I don't need anyone.

I'm still as strong as ever.

People still like me.

People still respect me.

I'm awesome.

And there are more. Many more, I know there is. I can't go five minutes without telling myself another lie, five minutes with feeding myself more delusions that will eventually drive me mad.

I can't take it anymore.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if someone actually reassured me of just one, tell me that it wasn't a lie, that I'm actually right like I haven't been in a long time.

I don't want to be lonely anymore. If I could see that people were still there for me, still cared about me though I am no longer a country, I could live with my other delusions. I could cope. But no, I'm alone, and that doesn't seem like it will change anytime soon.

I've been getting a little stronger recently, but not for a reason that will gain back the respect I used to command from the rest of the world. I'm a micronation now. A fucking _micronation_. I'm still not worth anyone's time. Even my baby brother thinks me a burden and a waste of space, I know he does. He could be using his basement for better things, like storage, instead of using it to house his deadbeat, useless, annoying, arrogant bum of a brother. I've heard him complain to others before. I sneak up to the doors of the meetings so I can keep informed and see how well Lutz is doing, knowing he'll make me prouder than I already am of him. But then… after the meetings, he always says something to Hungary or Austria or Switzerland about how I do nothing but laze about the house, never doing anything productive, anything useful. That's when I have to walk away, and no one ever sees me again for three days or so, and what do I hear when I get back?

"_Oh, there you are. I was wondering where you'd been. Could you maybe clean you're room for once? It's atrocious."_

Gone for three days and that's the first thing I hear from my own baby brother, the one I raised from an infant, the one I nursed back to health after all of his wars. Just a request to _clean my goddamn room_. Not even a fucking hello.

Why can't they see I'm lonely?

I'm done lying to my self, so here is a brief list of truths I must remind myself of everyday:

I'm lonely.

I will always be lonely.

No one loves me.

Ludwig doesn't care about me anymore.

Roderich doesn't care about me anymore.

Elizaveta doesn't care about me anymore.

Basche doesn't care about me anymore.

No one will ever care for me again, because I'm simply not worth caring for.

Spain and France have better, more important things to do in their busy lives than hanging out with me every damn day, so it's best for everyone if I stop calling them desperately asking them to hang out with me. They don't want to. They're just too nice to say no.

I need someone there for me, but I never will have one.

I'm the weakest of the weak, and that won't change.

No one respects me anymore, if they ever have. I don't deserve their respect. I'm just a nobody with no land that shouldn't even be alive anymore.

I don't have anything to live for. My baby brother is grown and doesn't need me to look after him any more. Hell, when I try to help him with anything, I fuck up and he just yells at me and tells me to go somewhere where I can't mess something up or bother him. Hungary is perfectly happy with Austria. Austria is doesn't need any help fighting, nor does he have anything to take.

I'm not awesome. I'm the scum of the fucking Earth, and I will never amount to anything ever again. I'm the lowest of the low and will never rise back to the top where I once stood. I am everything but awesome or its equivalents.

Everyone deserves to be around someone better than me.

…

I doubt that even counts as half of them.

I think… I think I should just go to sleep and never wake up. That sounds good right about now. It's not like anyone would miss me anyway.

-Gilbert

Hungary looked up from the book she was reading with tears glistening in her eyes. She had raided Prussia's room as a prank and found the latest volume of his many diaries. She had expected something funny or embarrassing, so she read all of the passages out to everyone present at the world meeting. At first, she had gotten what she expected, but as she turned the pages, the thoughts written on them became steadily darker. She looked around the room at everyone who had gathered around to listen. Germany looked incredibly guilty, almost as if he were about to cry. The only time his stoic exterior cracks is when something has happened to either his brother or Italy. Austria looked morose, staring at the floor. Spain was already in tears, France trying to comfort him.

Switzerland, who also looked slightly guilty, was the first to break the solemn silence that blanketed the room.

"Hungary, when is that passage dated?" Hungary looked back at the page.

"It was written two days ago." A tear finally escaped and trickled down her cheek. She had no idea her friend felt this way. Of course she cared about him! She wouldn't bother even talking to him, to even yell at him if she didn't. Spain began to cry harder, burying his face in France's shirt.

"_That's why I haven't gotten a call from him three days!"_

"Neither have I, mon ami. Usually our dear Gilbert would call everyday just to chat or ask us if we wanted to go drinking or even just go hang out with him and watch a movie. I haven't heard from him in three days, but I didn't really think anything of it. Now I feel horrible."

"He really thinks no one cares about him? We put up with him, don't we? I certainly wouldn't even give him the time of day if he weren't a friend, he if wasn't family!" Austria snapped, offended that Prussia seemed to think so little of him. Hungary glared at hi.

"Put up with him? This is why he thinks we don't care, 'Because we only ever 'put up with him!' We should have noticed sooner! We… we should have been nicer!"

Germany seemed to be a little shell shocked, all he did was stare at the ground, lip trembling as he mumbled.

"All I ever did was yell at him, even though he was only trying to help. I always pushed him away. I barely even noticed it when he was gone! I just saw it as quieter, a nice break from him! Yet… yet he still said he was proud of me after the way I've treated him…" His tears finally fell as he realized just how his precious older brother felt. Prussia was right. The albino had done so much for him, had loved him endlessly, everything he did being to benefit Ludwig rather than himself. And how did he repay the man who did everything in his power to take care of him? He had treated him like he was worthless, like he was a waste of space, like he was burden who couldn't do anything right. The large German fell to his knees, face in his hands, shaking. "I'm so sorry, Bruder!"

"He even stopped signing off as Prussia. He used his human name…"

"Hungary, is that the last entry? Everyone knows he writes in it everyday. Is there a more recent one?" Hungary flipped the page at Italy's question. There was.

"Yes, but it's very short, from yesterday." She began to read.

Dear Diary,

This is the last time I will be writing in this diary, or any diary. Tomorrow, before Lutz heads to the meeting, I'll give him the fresh beer that just finished brewing today, I'll cook him liverwurst with eggs and hash browns like I did when he was little, and when he's about to leave, I'll give him one last hug. I would ruffle his hair like a did when his was a child, but he would probably get mad at me for messing his hair up after he took the time to make sure his hair would stay slicked back. I don't want to make him angry tomorrow. He'll probably be angry, later, though, because he'll be stuck fixing everything up once I'm gone, what with making funeral preparations and all once he comes back from the meeting. If he even bothers. I'm not worth all that trouble, and I know it. I don't want him to do that if it puts more stress on him. He works too hard as it is already. They'll probably just burn me instead. That's fine.

I'm not worth the space I take up. I'll clean up the house and pack up my things so Lutz won't have to, and then I'll lock myself in the bathroom. I won't make a mess, that would make me even more of a burden and I don't want to put Lutz through that anymore. If someone reads this, Please tell them I want to be buried, if they bury me, in my white suit with my flag, a picture of Lutz, and the picture I took of that painting of Old Man Fritz. The only other thing I ask is that someone takes care of Gilbird. I don't want him to end up lonely too.

Well, I guess this is goodbye.

-Gilbert

"No!" Germany was sobbing. "That's why he did all that? Just to make _me_ happy before he—Oh Gott! I have to check on him!" He sprinted out of the room in a flash, heading for home, praying his Bruder wasn't dead. Hungary called after him,

"I'm going too!" and took off after him.

They arrived at the German's house much more quickly than they usually would have since the meeting was actually being held in Berlin that day. Germany didn't bother fumbling with keys to unlock the door. When he reached it, he immediately kicked it down and ran inside, searching frantically for Gilbert, praying he hadn't locked himself in the bathroom yet or worse…

"Gilbert? Gilbert, where are you? Gilbert!"

The Prussian was already in the bathroom, sitting in the tub filled with water. He had begun to feel dizzy a minute or so earlier, and he could swear he was hearing things. He heard a crash and a voice that sounded like his brother's, but that couldn't be. Lutz was at the meeting and the voice sounded much too concerned, worrying about where he was. That couldn't be Lutz. Lutz didn't care.

"Prussia? Are you here? Are you alright? Prussia? Can you hear me? If you're here, please, speak up!"

Hungary too? Now he knew for sure it was only in his mind. Hungary didn't care either. She never did. Oh? The voices are getting closer and the door knob is jiggling.

"Germany, He's in the bathroom! The door's locked! Prussia, please, open up! Tell me you're okay!"

My bath water had long turned red and my vision began to grow fuzzy as I stared at the door, the arm I had carved into leaning against the wall, but not at an angle where it would leave a mess on it. I could hear more footsteps outside the door before they stopped and were replace by a loud banging noise instead as someone beat their fist on the door,

"Bruder, please! Don't hurt yourself!" There were a few more bangs on the door before it burst open, the lock broken by a powerful kick. Two people, the ones he thought to be figments of his imagination at the moment, looked in, eyes wide before rushing over to him, Germany kneeling down beside the tub his brother was bleeding out in, surrounded by crimson water one could barely see through now. He caressed the albino's hair before gently grabbing the Prussian's wounded arm. Gilbert tried to resist, but he was currently too weak from blood loss. He growled when he saw the word 'burden' cared into the porcelain skin. Gilbert flinched away and looked down at the bloody water, unable to look his brother in the eye. Ludwig's expression changed to guilty.

_This is why he thinks I don't care. He probably thinks I'm angry that he's made a mess of himself. I'm so sorry, Gilbert._

He turned to Hungary.

"Hungary, please, go find the first aid kit!" He turned back to his older brother as the woman scampered away to do as she was told. "Bruder, bitte, look at me. Why would you do this?" The Prussian still refused to look at him. He looked like he was about to cry.

"Why are you asking? You don't care." His lower lip was trembling. Ludwig went to circle his arms around the albino, but stopped when the albino cringed in fear.

"Bruder… I love you. You are my brother. You have always taken care of me, and I appreciate everything you do for me. I'm so sorry I didn't see how lonely you were. I should have noticed you were in pain, Bruder, and I never should have treated you the way I did. Please forgive me. I want you to know that you are loved by many."

In the back of Prussia's mind, he wondered how exactly Lutz knew how he felt, but he was much too groggy to ponder on it for more than a brief moment. At that moment, Hungary returned with a first aid kit along with some cloths, clothes, and a towel.

"We need to bandage his arm quickly and stop the bleeding." She said as she set down the items and opened the first aid kit. She picked up the wound disinfectant in the kit as well as one of the cloths before pouring the fire liquid on it. She gently rubbed the cloth over Prussia's arm, causing him to whimper weakly at the burning sensation it gave. In order to ease the pain a bit, Ludwig blew on the wound once she was finished cleansing it, making a cool feeling run down the length of it. Prussia leaned closer to his brother without even realizing it, resting his too heavy head on the man's broad shoulder. Hungary removed the bandages from the kit and carefully wound them around the albino's forearm, tight enough to help stop the bleeding, but not too tight to where it cut off circulation to the man's hand either. She applied pressure to the bandaged wound to staunch the blood flow. Eventually, she succeeded and gently let the albino's arm drop beside the tub away from the dirty water. She reached into the bathtub and pulled the plug on the drain, waiting for all of the soiled water to leave the basin before plugging it back up and running clean water into it at a temperature that was perfect. Once the tub was full again, she grabbed some soap, as did Ludwig, and they began to lather the albino's body up, scrubbing away the blood and filth still stuck to him with gentle hands. When they found his body to be clean once more, Ludwig grabbed the shampoo and repeated the process with his brother's hair. He massaged the albino's scalp and rubbed the back of his neck, helping the smaller man to relax. The two rinsed off the Prussian and Ludwig wrapped a towel around his weak body.

Gilbert tried to take a step forward on his own, but failed. His little brother caught him before he could hit the ground. Germany would not let him try again; instead, he lifted the older man up and carried him to his own room just across the hall instead of down to the basement. He laid Prussia down carefully, lifting back the covers and placing them on top of him. Gilbert's eyes were beginning to droop, his body needed to rest to recover the blood he had lost. Before he fell into his dreams, he heard his Kleiner Bruder say: "Ich liebe dich, Bruder. Danke for doing so much for me. Rest now. I'm sure many people will be over here to see you later. They all love you and want to know you're okay. Gute nacht, Große Bruder. Sleep well."

When Prussia awoke later, still weak but with a clear head, he remembered to ask how they knew what he was planning. That particular diary volume was burned in the fireplace that night after he received hugs and reassurance that, should he ever feel that way, he _tells_ them so and they will always be there for him. He'd never been told he was loved so many times in one night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ah, here it is, the follow up for Liar. I originally was going to leave it as is, but I got several requests from you, my wonderful lovelies, and a few friends for a new chapter to tie it up. Lucky you that I can't resist my France's kicked puppy face.**

**Do enjoy my beautiful lovely readers, and I thank you for taking the time to read my work.**

**A/N 2: I'm sorry to disappoint, and originally I was going to add the smut (as I started writing this chapter BEFORE FF got all butt-hurt) but, I fear for my account at the moment. Therefore, until FF decides to give us the MA rating they never should have taken away ten years ago, I will not upload the lemon. I commend you brave writers for having the courage to still give your readers the lemony yum-yum goodness we oh-so love, for you have more guts than I do. I will join in the fight of authors against FF, but in the meantime, before it really gets going, I'll be keeping my account safe and sound. I really kinda live for this site over the summer, so… Sorry for the long-ass A/N but it had to be done. **

**A/N 3: This chapter is longer than the first .**

**~{ -CoMa~DoSe- }~**

* * *

Liar Chapter II

It was a few hours after everyone arrived that the house was free of guests once more. Hungary and Austria had been the last to leave, Elizaveta giving Gilbert a motherly kiss on the forehead and a tight hug. Roderich surprised the other three in the room by giving the albino a hug as well, along with a muttered apology for not noticing that something was wrong with his half brother. The two parted from the Beilschmidt brothers with a warm farewell before heading back to the Austrian's home. The door was shut gently behind them and the two brothers were alone together for the first time since the younger had left for the world meeting early that morning. The blonde turned to Gilbert. The smile that had occupied the pale man's face quickly vanished and he refused to meet the other's eyes.

"I already know what you're going to say Ludwig, and I'm sorry." He kept his eyes on the floor, doing his best to ignore the bandages wrapped skillfully around his arm. He had hurt his brother with his stunt, though the aim, had he succeeded had been to make his brother feel better. "I really am. I thought that dying was what would be best. I was just… so alone. I felt like no one needed me around anymore and that I was doing more harm than good by just… existing. I'm supposed to be dead right now. I should have died in 1947, when I was disbanded. But I didn't. I should have died when the wall fell in 1989. But no. And now, I'm a fucking micronation. I'm worthless." The albino stared at his bandaged arm before finally gathering the courage to look his kleiner Bruder in the eye. He didn't like what he saw.

Ludwig was furious. But not at Gilbert as the albino had interpreted. He was angry at himself for letting his brother feel this way. It took a suicide attempt for him to realize his große Bruder was in pain. He too looked at his brother's arm, the one that would forever be scarred with a lie. Gilbert was not a burden. He was amazing. Awesome. The best older brother anyone could ever hope for. Everything he'd ever done was for Ludwig's benefit rather than his own. He came off as conceited, but once one got to know him, he was the nicest person they would ever meet. And Ludwig wanted to tell his big brother that _so much_ but he just couldn't manage anything more than a scowl of disappointment and frustration. A scowl that his wonderful, mentally fragile older brother thought was directed at him. Prussia's eyes closed and he looked down at the floor once more as Ludwig continued staring.

"I'm sorry for causing you trouble again…" That was enough. Ludwig didn't mean to snap, he didn't mean to sound as angry as he did. He was just confused as he shouted at his brother.

"Idiot! Did you really think killing yourself would make anything better? It would have only made things worse for everyone! Did you even stop to think for a moment—!" But he stopped. _Why am I saying this? This is not what I want to tell him! I shouldn't be making him feel worse! He needs to know he is loved! _He heard a dull thump on the floor. He had clenched his eyes shut as he yelled and when he opened his eyes, he felt his heart shatter. Gilbert, his once proud brother, had fallen to his knees before him, tears cascading down his pale face.

Gilbert was confused. _ What happened to the Lutz I saw when he came home and found me? He had been so concerned and did everything he could to help me. He even let me sleep in his own bed. That must be it. When I slept, he must have had enough time to think everything over. He realized that the only reason I was worth saving was so no extra money would have to be spent to dispose of my body… I would have been just as big a burden in death as I am alive. I should just lock myself in my room so Ludwig won't have to look at me anymore. I don't want him to be mad at how much of a disgrace I've become._ He refused to meet his brother's eyes once more as he continued to cry. His dignity and pride were shot. He was useless and a waste of space. He was a failure. He couldn't even succeed in killing himself! He began to mutter apologies in German under his breath rapidly, begging for his brother to forgive him, to not be angry with him anymore. "Lutz, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you angrier! I-I… I was trying to make things better! I thought you would be happier once I was gone! I'm sorry, Bruder… I'm sorry…" Gilbert kept his gaze locked on the floor. He didn't hear his brother move and flinched almost violently when the blonde placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned his head a fraction to look at Ludwig, crystalline beads still clouding his ruby orbs.

"Gilbert… You don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm sorry Bruder. I'm sorry for not realizing how lonely you were. I could've helped you sooner and I didn't. People love you, you know? Spain, France, Basche, Elizaveta and even Roderich, they all love you. You're their friend. You're like family to them. Ich liebe dich auch, große Bruder. You've done everything you could to make me happy, and I treated you so horribly in return. I'm so sorry. I love you, Gilbert." The taller man wrapped his arms around his older brother in a tight and warm embrace and kissed him on the forehead. "Please, never forget that again, Bruder."

* * *

A few days later and Gilbert, still having a nation's body despite being retired, had already recovered nicely from the blood loss. But Ludwig was right. The carving in his arm would stay a scar. He was able to take the bandages off a couple days after the incident, and for hours all the Prussian did was stare at the scar. Ludwig couldn't look at it. He refused to. It was a reminder of his own failure as a brother. But he couldn't help but think of "what if's."

What if he hadn't gotten home in time?

What if Gilbert had chosen a quicker method?

What if Hungary hadn't decided to take his diary?

What if Gilbert had never written his plans down?

They all led to the same conclusion: He would have lost his brother forever. The thought alone made him want to break down and cry, as well as punch himself repeatedly. It was his fault, it was his entire fault.

He looked over to Gilbert who was sitting on the couch, not really doing anything. He just stared out into space. He saw the albino's eyes move down to his arm as it had so often. Ludwig looked away again, not noticing when Gilbert's turn came to stare at his brother. They said nothing, as conversation had become awkward and painful to initiate. Whenever one was started, it would end with one of them yelling and the other in tears. Gilbert had cried himself to sleep every night. Ludwig knew this as he passed the basement door on the way to his room. He always had the thought of going in and wishing his brother good night and telling him he was loved, but when he always heard the sobs just as he was about to rap his fist against the oak door, he changed his mind and left, thinking it better to leave his brother to himself until he calmed down. It made him feel horrible, but he knew Gilbert was very proud, though he wasn't sure if his pride had survived after everything that had happened. From what his diary had said, his pride and self-respect had died long ago and everything he'd said for quite a while was all an act, one that fooled all. But one could no longer read the proof, for that particular volume now lay as pile of ashes in the fire place.

"Ludwig?" Said blonde was snapped out of his thoughts. He turned his attention to his older brother, hoping with everything he was that the ruby eyed man wasn't about to apologize again like he had multiple times all week. The Prussian continued, "You know that I love you, right?" The German man looked back to the floor, his frown and his guilt deepening.

"Yes, Bruder. I know. I love you too." _More than you could ever know. Please don't try to leave me again. I don't know what I'd do._ He heard the light scratching noise that moving cloth made as Gilbert got up and trudged over to his brother. He stood before the younger and waited for him to look up. When the blue eyed and did as expected of him, the albino stooped over and wrapped his arms around him. Ludwig was startled for a moment before realizing what was happening.

His brother needed some comfort.

The blonde brought his arms up and embraced the older, hugging him tightly, yet gently. He rubbed the other's back soothingly and smiled slightly when he felt the Prussian bury his head in the crook of his neck.

"Bruder…" Ludwig stopped him before he could say what the blue eyed man knew was coming.

"Gilbert, Bruder, please. Stop apologizing. You don't need to." The snowy haired man with drew slightly, just enough to look his kleiner Bruder in the eye and shook his head.

"Ja, I do. I realize what I did was wrong. I should have come to you first and told you how I felt. But my stupid pride wouldn't let me. I caused you pain too. I'm sorry." Ludwig sighed and pulled his brother back to him.

"It's alright. I just want you to know that you are _so_ loved Bruder. If I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. You've always been there to keep me up and help me out, no matter what it is. It's my turn to help you like I should have been doing all along. Ich liebe dich." He went to kiss the albino on the forehead as he saw tears begin to well up in his eyes, but Gilbert, not knowing, moved a little and Ludwig's kiss landed on his lips instead. Both of their faces lit up a brighter red than the Prussian's eyes, which were open wide, but both were too stunned to move away.

But something about it was strange. Their lips molded together perfectly and they each felt a spark. Gilbert was the first to collect himself and pulled away, still blushing furiously. He looked away, embarrassed. He also felt dirty. Yes, he loved his brother, but not like that! It shouldn't have felt so good to kiss him. He began to stutter, trying to think of something to say, but Ludwig beat him to it.

"I-I'm sorry, th-that wasn't supposed to ha-happen! I was trying to give you a kiss on the forehead and you moved and-!" But Gilbert cut him off, mentally saying "to hell with it!" and leaning back in and sealing their lips once more. The spark he felt when their lips touched made him feel loved. His brother's soft lips reassured him, told him that he wasn't alone. The German was still surprised but saw how much his brother seemed to need it. He hesitated, not knowing if it was the right thing to do, encouraging this, but if it helped his Bruder… He'd do anything. He began moving his mouth and deepening the kiss. He quickly showed domination over Gilbert and ran his tongue over the gate to his brother's throat, asking for entrance. Permission was given immediately and their tongues wrestled, twirling around each other. Eventually, the need for air arose and they broke apart once more, panting. Gilbert had been moved into Ludwig's lap and Ludwig held him there.

"Do you believe you're loved now, Bruder?" The tears that had been in Gilbert's eyes since before the kiss finally fell and he buried his face in Ludwig's chest.

"We shouldn't have done that… It's wrong…" Ludwig pulled his brother closer, wishing away the falling tears.

"Ich liebe dich, Bruder. That's all that matters. Who cares what anyone else thinks? You have me. I won't let you down again, Gilbert. I swear it." He didn't know where this was all coming from, but the blonde felt it in his heart and his gut that what he said was true. His brain screamed that they were brothers and that they should stay that way, but his heart was whispering ever so closely and intimately in his ear 'this will make him happy. You want to see him happy. You love him and he will be happy with you. That's all that matters. You can guard him, keep him safe, and keep him worry free. You need to do this. Be with him.'

Normally, he was a man of logic and only did what his brain thought was best, but this was his Bruder. He always went with what his heart said when it came to family, especially Gilbert. Every time he had listened to his brain instead, one of them got hurt, some of the emotional wounds and scars taking decades to heal afterwards. Knowing what he knew, and feeling it in his heart, he was alright with this. In the back of his mind, behind the screaming front telling him kissing his brother was immoral, there was another voice, much quieter, even quieter than the one whispering in his heart. It was barely mumbling. It told him he had loved his brother this way for a long time, but he didn't know it. It told him that this was a long time coming.

And it didn't bother him.

Gilbert continued to stare up at his baby brother, ruby eyes wide. His hands were tight fists gripping the blonde's shirt much like a child would their mother's blouse.

_Is he really okay with this? Doesn't he think it's wrong? How does he not find me absolutely repulsive now? He had kissed me on accident, but I liked it and went back for more! I'm vile and sick; he probably just went along with it to appease me. He'll probably just go to the bathroom and scrape his fucking tongue once he leaves the room. But… He sounded so honest. But then again, Lutz has always been a good actor .And what's this about letting me down? I let _him_ down!_

"Gilbert…?" The albino who didn't know when he had averted his eyes looked back up, hesitating slightly.

"Ja…?" He mumbled, scared of what his brother would say next. But Ludwig didn't look angry (and to be honest, he wasn't) and in fact pulled Gilbert as close to him as physically possible.

"Ich liebe dich. More than anything. I truly mean that in every way, shape, and form. How can I show you that you are loved?" He punctuated the ends of his sentences by peppering loving kisses all over his brother's face, the last one landing cutely on the tip of the albino's nose. Gilbert's face turned completely red. He knew of a way, but refused to suggest it. It was just plain wrong! And even if by some miracle, Ludwig _didn't_ find it disgusting, it was still way too soon. He looked away again and shifted, moving to get off of Ludwig's lap but unfortunately moved the wrong way, his groin rubbing against his brother's leg, causing delicious friction and igniting a fire in his belly as he let out a strangled moan.

"Bruder?" Lutz asked, slightly concerned. He thought maybe Gilbert had hurt himself somehow trying to climb down, but that sound didn't exactly sound pained and the look in the albino's eyes certainly said that. The Prussians eyes were half lidded, his mouth open from gasping, his tongue halfway sticking out. The pink dusting his cheeks had stayed the same though. He had only clutched the German's shirt tighter as he panted slightly.

"Luuutzzzzz…" He groaned, leaning his head down as if it was too heavy to ever hold up again. "Mmmff…" It sounded almost like a whimper. "Lutz, I… oohhh…" And suddenly it clicked as he felt a bulge grow just above his leg. So _that's_ what Gilbert needed? Hmm. As the man of logic he is, he hesitated, wondering if this was the right thing to do again. Kissing was one thing, some might say "bad enough," but to go _all the way_… But… If his brother needed it…

"Gilbert, do you want me to…" He couldn't finish his sentence. He didn't know how he was supposed to state a question like that to his brother. Gilbert understood regardless. He didn't want to answer, especially not truthfully (not that he could at the moment anyway, he was still panting a little). He whimpered pitifully and buried his face in the blonde's shirt, trying to catch his breath while his face felt as if lava was flowing just beneath his porcelain white skin. Finally, he gathered his strength and courage and answered truthfully.

"Ja. I do." He did not look back up to meet his brother's icy blue eyes. It seemed as if every time he gathered back a little courage, his fears and insecurities would come back and crush him immediately after saying what he needed to. _'Gott, I'm worse than Poland…'_

The German surprised the albino, causing him to wrap his arms tightly around his brother's neck to keep from falling as the blonde stood up, hoisting the Prussian into his arms. The ruby eyed man began to stutter, unable to form the question easily. "L-lutz! Wa-Was are y-you doing, B-bruder?" The blonde's demeanor had suddenly seemed to change and took on a lighter tone as he smiled at the man in his arms.

"I'm carrying you to my room. I will show you that you are loved Bruder."

'_Was? Really? He… He really does love me. If he's willing to go this far for me just to prove it… How could I have doubted him? I'm so stupid; I don't deserve to have a bruder so great.' _Although he said nothing of it, Ludwig noticed Gilbert's realization. He just wished that his brother would stop beating himself up over it.

The blonde walked steadily up the stairs and down the hallway, mindful of his steps so as to not jostle the precious cargo he held in his arms. As he reached the oak door to his room, he carefully shifted Gilbert onto only one arm so he could turn the doorknob and enter. His room looked the same as it had that morning, his meticulous nature ensuring that it was spotless as always. He moved over to the bed and drew back the covers before laying his brother down on the snow white sheets. They were barely lighter than his porcelain skin. He stood back to admire the elder's beauty for a moment, though he actually didn't realize he was staring. He looked so… blush was still very much present and he was sprawled out on the bed, his hands slightly curled near his face, palms up. All it took was a whimper of "L-lutz…" and Germany lost control.

He pounced on his brother and kissed him passionately, their tongues fighting fiercely. He slid the gray tank top up the alabaster chest, his hand trailing the alabaster skin over taut muscles and raised battle scars. His hand reached up and tweaked a nub, causing the albino to start. He removed the fabric completely and admired the beauty revealed. Unknowingly, he voiced his appreciation in a mumble, causing his brother to smile. While it was slightly embarrassing, it gave him a little more confidence at the same time.

"If you like it, do something, Lutz." He received a smirk that told him he was in for a night of body worship.

* * *

Ludwig awoke to the feeling of a weight on his chest and as he opened his crystal blue hues, he smiled. The Prussian man was lying on top of him, curled up and refusing to let go of his arm. He looked so peaceful. He studied the other's face, all the while curling his arm a bit more protectively around his brother. The snowy hair fell gently over his eyes and was more than a little tousled. The albino was smiling. It made the blonde think for a moment.

'_When was the last time I really saw him smile?'_ The thought made him sad and yet happy at the same time. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen such a beautiful upturn of the other's lips, but he felt slightly honored to be the one to bring it back. A slight, kind of cute noise accompanied by a yawn alerted him to his brother's consciousness.

"Mmm, West? You awake?" The smaller man cracked open a ruby eye and looked up tiredly. The blonde smiled down at him.

"Ja Bruder, I'm awake. Did you sleep well?" The other cuddle himself a bit more snugly against the younger's chest.

"Ja. You make a nice pillow, Bruderlein." Ludwig chuckled.

"Good to know." He suddenly took on a more serious tone, "Do you believe you are loved now, mein Bruder schön?" Gilbert smiled, blushing slightly at being called beautiful.

"Yes Ludwig. I know you love me. Danke. I'm sorry for putting you through so much. Ich liebe Dich." Germany leaned down and kissed the top of Prussia head.

"Ich liebe Dich, auch, mein Bruder. Please, don't ever think so little of yourself again. You are not a burden. You never have been, and never will be. And whoever tells you otherwise is a liar."


End file.
